The Crying Game - no, not THAT one!

I have a child who refuses to sleep.

I guess it's karma, payback or whatever they call it. I was a little insomniac, up to all hours of the night, but I sure as heck wasn't wailing like someone was sticking me with a pin.

I can honestly say I have been a pushover with Griffin, much more than with Hudson. I think this time it's all about the fact that they share a room and I don't want him to wake Hudson up. So I really don't let him cry too much, I run in there and rescue him and bring him into our bed - and now he expects it. I guess I made my own monster here - and I really don't have a terrible problem with it, most of the time. But when I want to be on the computer or just doing my own thing once I've finally got both kids in bed, I am just fed up to here with the crying!! As a matter of fact, he's screaming right now as I write this. I've been upstairs about 5 times in the last half hour and all he will do is writhe around in his crib and hold my hand/push it away/ hold it close / push it away - you get the picture. And is he tenacious - oh yes, that is a good word to describe my little Gemini with the lungs of steel. He can - and will - cry for what he wants. He WANTS to be in my bed, laying on the body pillow down the middle with my boob in his mouth. I am trying to convince him otherwise - anybody want to bet on what time I will cave?
12 AM?
1 AM?

ugh - I feel like such a freakin' pushover. I want to let him "cry it out" but it breaks my heart to hear him cry. On the other hand, I am with him 24-7 - I get about 30 minutes of "me" time a day it feels like, and now he's decided to cry hysterically through it because I am not holding him in my arms and wrapping my body around him - I feel like John Lennon in that famous Annie Lebovitz photo. I've developed carpal tunnel from holding/nursing/feeding him and wake up with numb hands every morning. I can't wear my braces when he's in bed with me, as I fear I'll clock him good in my sleep. So, I spoon with him and wake up stiff and with club-like hands that I whack against the bed to get a bit of feelig back again.

It's amazing how the words flow when you are sleep deprived...