Sunday, August 12, 2007

Summertime...

is here - and I've done diddley-squat.
Have I planned any activities for my wards?
Have I done anything to ensure chaos does not reign now that camp is over?
...
Isn't there something like a three strikes rule in parenting?
What I really desire is for someone to entertain ME!
I want to be my kids for just one day.

I'll get up and whine for waffles or sausages or say "MILK MILK MILK MILK" over and over in a monotone until I get what I want. (Dear Griffin, I do appreciate that you say "tank yoo mommy" when you finally do get what you want, but do you really need to torture me along the way? Love, Mommy)
Then I'll run away, as fast as my legs will carry me and leave my mess behind. Maybe I'll use the couch as a napkin, but then again, the rug is just fine too.

I'll make someone play my shows over and over, and then jump on top of them when they have the NERVE to try to read a magazine or the newspaper with the arm I am not laying on top of. Then, when they think I'm finally watching, I will start playing with something else, preferably with small, choke able pieces! Yeah!

I will whine "when can I get something?" whenever I get within 100 yards of an insitution of consumerism. If my adult DARES look at an item of clothing, I will shriek "NO NO NO!" or else dive under the clothing racks, ripping down a good quantity of merchandise with me - and totally ignoring that it's happened.

I will refuse to nap, even though I am irrational and rubbing my eyes...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I'll eat 2 bites of my meticulously (ah, who am I kidding - microwaved) dinner and say "can I have dessert?"

Then I will insist on "GLUE" for my art projects and ask over and over "can I go on the computer?" until the adults cave in. Then I'll play the loudest, most advertising filled games on the internet, surely loaded with all sorts of malicious programs (and we wonder why the computer makes so many weird noises these days). I'll also attempt to answer registration questions that I can't really read, and will spell inventively when answering.

Finally, I can be carried up to my bed, and man, the heck with bladder control! Just slap that diaper on and I'll be laying in my cage, living the good life. Or, if I am more like Griffin, trying to stall with 4 or 5 books, then "WATER WATER WATER WATER" and "BINKYBINKYBINKYBINKY" until I get both of those.

What a day - it's 8:30 PM, and the day is done. I'm so glad I am getting 10 hours of sleep! It allows me to bound out of bed, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to great the day at 6:30 AM!! Rise and shine for another FUN DAY!!

HAPPY SUMMER EVERYONE!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Be glad your name is not Tom Riddle...


Real Harry Potter weathers Pottermania

Wed Aug 1, 10:14 AM ET

Sometimes it's a hassle being Harry Potter.

Especially when you're a 78-year-old man who happens to share the name of a certain fictional boy wizard who is famous the world over.

Each time a new Harry Potter book or movie comes out, Bradenton resident Harry Potter starts getting phone calls from children, interview requests from the TV networks and autograph requests.

"The kids want to know if I'm Harry Potter," he said with a chuckle. "I tell them I've been Harry Potter for darn near 80 years!"

The real Harry Potter said he hasn't had time to read any of the J.K. Rowling books or see the five hit movies. But late night crank calls aside, the retired Defense Department employee from Zaleski, Ohio, gets his mileage out of Pottermania.

"When Harry talks to the kids, they'll ask about the owl and he'll say, 'Oh, he came by and brought the mail,'" said his wife, Jan. "Then, when they're done, the mothers come on and say thank you for talking to the kids. He gets a big kick out of it."

But meeting a real Harry Potter can be a little puzzling for the kids.

"They look at you, give you the once-over," he said, laughing. "They can't relate the one in the book to the one they see here. I guess I could buy me a pair of Harry Potter glasses."